Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 – 3)

1. “If I’m extra hard on you, it’s because you have the ability to be better than me.” – Johnny Lawrence

2. “Cobra Kai is about strength, if you’re not strong on the inside, then you can’t be strong on the outside.” – Johnny Lawrence

3. “It doesn’t matter if you’re a loser, a nerd, or a freak, The only thing that matters is that you become badass.” – Johnny Lawrence

4. “The best defense is more offense.” – Johnny Lawrence

5. “I may not always win, but I never back out of a fight.” – Johnny Lawrence

6. “In the real world, you can’t expect people to do what they’re supposed to do.” – Johnny Lawrence

7. “That’s just black paint on a white wall.” – Johnny Lawrence

8. “Back in my day if we want to tease someone, we do it to their face.” – Johnny Lawrence

9. “You know what they say, there’s no such thing as a bad student.” – Johnny Lawrence

10. “You want something, you’ll have to crawl across the floor, use your damn teeth if you have to.” – Johnny Lawrence

11. “Don’t forget, being a badass doesn’t mean be an asshole.” – Johnny Lawrence

12. Quiet! Never “can’t.” Those are just words, they’re meaningless, It’s time to get out of bed and do something. You’re not a kid anymore, the world isn’t just gonna hand it to you. You want something, you’re going to have to crawl across the floor, use your damn teeth if you have to, You’ll have to do whatever it takes. – Johnny Lawrence

13. What, do you want those kids at school to keep dumping shit on your head? You want all the girls to think you’re a wang-less dork? Coz you can stop your training right now, and you can walk outside and let the whole world know you’re a loser. Or you can plant your feet, look your enemy in the eyes AND PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE! – Johnny Lawrence

14. “I’ve got one year to make it all work, and that’s what I’m gonna do – make it work, all of it…” – Johnny Lawrence

15. “I’m not just gonna teach you how to conquer your fears. I’m going to teach you how to awaken the snake within you. And once you do that, you’ll be the ones who’s feared. You’ll build strength. You’ll learn discipline. And when the time is right, you’ll strike back.” – Johnny Lawrence

16. “There’s nothing to fear except for fear itself, that and falling in a bunch of sharp metal and broken glass, so don’t do that!” – Johnny Lawrence

17. “You wanna learn how to kick ass? First you gotta learn how to kick.” – Johnny Lawrence

18. “Eagles don’t get shit on. They’re the ones that do the shitting.” – Johnny Lawrence

19. “I took the easy way out, I gave up.” – Johnny Lawrence

20. “The older you get the more you’re going to learn that life isn’t fair. You wake up one morning feeling great and then life throws a spinning heel kick to your balls and takes a big steaming shit in your mouth… That’s how it goes. Life shows no mercy so neither do we. We do whatever it takes to keep our heads above water. We do whatever it takes to keep moving forward. We do whatever it takes to win. Remember who you are. You’re badass. You don’t give a shit. You kick ass. You’re Cobra Kai.” – Johnny Lawrence

21. “When negative feelings overwhelm you, look for the good within yourself.” – Daniel LaRusso

22. “If you have hate in your heart, then you have already lost.” – Daniel LaRusso

23. “You do the right thing cause it’s the right thing to do.” – Daniel LaRusso

24. “You are the only one who can get up when you are down.” – Daniel LaRusso

25. “A true Cobra feels no sympathy for its meals.” – John Kreese

26. “Life isn’t always fair. Sometimes the world can be cruel. That’s why you have to learn to be cruel yourselves.” – John Kreese

27. “There is no good, there is no bad. Only weak and strong.” – John Kreese

28. “If your mind is agile, so are you.” – John Kreese

29. “All that Miyagi-Do mumbo jumbo, that might score you points in a tournament. But now you’re in the real world kid, you might wanna learn to strike first.” – John Kreese

30. “We won’t just dominate the tournament, we’ll melt this whole snowflake generation.” – John Kreese

31. “We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition.” – John Kreese

32. “There’s no honor in being merciless.” – Miguel Diaz

33. “We don’t take no for an answer.” – Miguel Diaz

34. “You just gotta feel the energy and just live in the moment, you know?” – Hawk

35. “Defeat does not exist.” – Hawk

36. “Cool story. Try telling it to someone who gives a shit.” – Robby Keene

37. “I just don’t need to drink to pretend to be cool.” – Robby Keene

38. “I’m gonna have to face him sooner or later. Might as well be today.” – Robby Keene

39. “Everyone’s got a sob story, that doesn’t give you the right to be a bully.” – Samantha LaRusso

40. “It’s different when you are a girl. I mean even when you win, your not cool or tough. They think you are crazy.” – Samantha LaRusso

41. “Sometimes the scars you can’t see are the ones that hurt the most.” – Samantha LaRusso

42. “Alone we are nothing, but if we work together, we have a shot.” – Samantha LaRusso

43. “At least I know who I am. You are still trying to be something you’re not.” – Tory Nichols

44. “The world shows no mercy, so, why should we? Some people have it good, but the rest of us, we have to fight for every inch of what’s ours. Not just to score a point. For everything.” – Tory Nichols

45. “In Japan, you can always visit someone. They speak to us, even when they’re gone.” – Bartender

46. “Never mind your past mistakes, don’t let them determine your future.” – Carmen Diaz

47. “Defense takes on many forms.” – Chozen

48. “In life, we always lose our way. But it is people, not the signs, that guide us back to the right path.” – Kumiko

49. “Put good out in the world and good will come back to you.” – Kumiko

50. “If your enemy insists on war, then you take away their ability to wage it.” – Chozen

51. “There is your side and your side, and then there is the truth. And the truth is, you guys are more alike then you’ll admit.” – Ali Mills

52. “Kicks get chicks.” – Johnny Lawrence

53. “It’s alright. You fell like a champ.” – Johnny Lawrence

54. “When you came into my dojo, you were softer than a babies ass.” – Johnny Lawrence

55. “I didn’t call her a bitch, I said she was bitching at me. There’s a difference… You’re firing me ’cause of that bitch?” – Johnny Lawrence

56. “Drowning’s for pussies. Don’t be a pussy.” – Johnny Lawrence

57. “God, just looking at you makes me feel like a virgin.” – Johnny Lawrence

58. “You should all be proud of yourselves. I know I’m proud. Your parents would be proud too, If you told them what we did here today… Which we won’t!” – Johnny Lawrence

59. “Who’s Molly? That some chick he’s hooking up with?” – Johnny Lawrence

60. “Drink it. It’ll put hair on your balls.” – Johnny Lawrence

61. “I knew she was smart but I figured she was hot enough to avoid work.” – Johnny Lawrence

62. “So your wang can still get tang, nice.” – Johnny Lawrence

63. “I don’t want to screw things up with Miguel, then again, you’re pretty hot.” – Johnny Lawrence

64. “Silver lining, you get to ditch Schwarber.” – Johnny Lawrence

65. “Nice suit, is it made of velvet? Do you sleep in that?” – Johnny Lawrence

66. “You can leave your asthma and your peanut allergies and all that other made-up bullshit outside.” – Johnny Lawrence

67. “Stop drinking the butter!” – Johnny Lawrence

68. “Don’t give me this sexist bullshit, alright. I’m just saying women aren’t meant to fight. They have tiny hollow bones.” – Johnny Lawrence

69. “Word of advice, if you got shit for teeth, don’t smile.” – Johnny Lawrence

70. “When I look around this dojo I don’t see Cobra Kai material. I see losers, I see nerds, I see a fat kid with a funny hat and his tits popping out.” – Johnny Lawrence

71. “…Coz it’s an alpha move man. Babes love it when you treat them like crap.” – Johnny Lawrence

72. “Did you just flinch virgin?” – Johnny Lawrence

73. “I got something on my computer you got to see. And don’t worry, it’s not porno this time.” – Louie LaRusso

74. “I got yelled at, got my ass kicked – and then gave him my money! You know who lives like that? Hookers.” – Demetri

75. Miguel Dias: You don’t know him like I do.
Demetri: yep, that’s hooker talk.

76. Hawk: The doctor said I could be on the spectrum
Johnny Lawrence: I don’t know what that is, but get off it pronto alright?

77. Johnny Lawrence: Nice shirt.
Demetri: Thanks.
Johnny Lawrence: I’m joking It sucks.

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